For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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