How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
