she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
