Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
