My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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