she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
