Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
