Pappa wants mamma naked
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
