So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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