and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
