waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
