a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
