So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
