He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
