i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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