It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i was born a porn star she said
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
