You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize