also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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