you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize