Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
