Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
