so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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