New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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