I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
