how can u be prego again
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need moral support for this bender
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
