Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
