No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
