I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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