What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
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