hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
