then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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