please come you make the beer taste better
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
