so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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