She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
