are you still at the devil's house?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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