I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
