Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My feet surprised me
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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