Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
