I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize