he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize