Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Two words: blizzard sex
COCAINE IS GR8
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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