Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
