Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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