i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
