He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
