Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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