uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
