If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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