turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
