why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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