so explain again why im purple
no
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
MIDGETS
????
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
