Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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