Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
