Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
