i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
