i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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