i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
