batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
