So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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