I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize